Wednesday, April 13, 2011

How we teach Mateship at the Australian Defence Force Academy.


"They call it mateship, son.
The supreme Australian virtue.
Mateship. Stand by your mates.
A mate will never let you down, ever.
Loyalty, son, that's what it's all about.

Truth is, though, mateship ain't all it's cracked up to be.
Truth is, though, it has a dark side, a nasty, brutal, vicious streak
running all the way through it.

Because mateship is the opposite of discipline.
Mateship is the opposite of the rule of law.

Mateship only exists, can only exist, when you break the rules.
Mateship only exists when you do stuff for which you can get busted.

We can't show loyalty to someone who doesn't need it, can we?
Ain't possible, is it? Don't work that way. Don't work like that at all.
If you haven't given us something to cover up, to cover you for..
Well, nobody's loyalty gets tested, does it?
Nothing to lie about, nothing to prove.

But if you pull a fast one.
If you come up with a stunt that can get you thrown out, some
dirty little joke we can all enjoy, something crass and ugly and mean..

Well, we're right behind you, ain't we?
We're behind you all the way.

That's how it works.
That's how it starts.
Mateship, its a tradition.

The only sin that mateship can't cover, and this is important Sunshine,
So pin them ears back, is the 11th commandment.
Which as we all know, is Thou shalt not get caught.

Suspicion's easy. If they suspect you of something, no problem.
We just band together and stone-wall 'em.
Tell 'em nothin', take 'em nowhere.
Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.

Which is where we come to the issue at hand, mate.

See for there to be an us, there has to be a them.
For there to be a bunch of mates, there have to be outsiders.
"Dune-coons." "Sand-niggaz." Sluts, scrags and poofters.

That's why we hate 'em, smack 'em about, kick the shit out of 'em.
Good for us, tough shit for them.
We all join in, mate, that's the thing.
We all join in and give the poofter a good going over in barracks.
We all join in and give the slut a good going over on Skype.
That's how we know who's us and who's them.

And don't worry about the Sergeant Major.
He's a mate too.
And don't worry about the Officers.
'Cos they're mates too.
So they'll see you right, son.
They'll keep it from coming out, causing a stink, eh??

'Cos they were here before you mate, weren't they?
They know the score, all of 'em.
When the shit starts flying in Afghani-bloody-stan,
A mate needs to know he can count on his mates to look out for him.
Stands to reason, son, stands to reason.

So don't worry about the sheilas, mate, or the poofs.
They're not real soldiers mate, everyone knows that.
We've seen 'em come and we've seen 'em go.
Fuckin' slags and fuckin' poofs.
Useless, mate, fuckin' useless.

Unless you're so stupid you get yourself caught red-handed.
In which case, well, we've done our best mate,
But you're just too bloody stupid.
You didn't make the grade.
You'll just have to take your lumps and like it.
Just remember one thing, though, eh?

You're still enough of a mate to keep your bloody mouth shut.
You may be up to your neck in it.
But you don't drop anyone else in the shit, do you?
Not if you know what's good for you."...

Loyalty's the one big thing we need,
If we plan to behave less than well.
When the enemy's them that would make you pay,
For raising your own bit of hell.

Toxic culture has long history.

What’s more important, I ask you?
There’s a war on, or didn’t you know?
The poofter we bashed or the slag that we raped,
Or seeing your best mate brung low?



Maozze said...

Close, Comrade, very close. What you are calling here is mateship among the dishonourable. A graceless state that leads to disgraceful actions. Ask Arbib. Ask Richo. Ask Kruger. Ask Santoro.

You've captured the polar opposite of "Mate, you can't do that". The antithesis of "Fair go, mate".

Mates don't let mates get away with crap.

Dalton Lee said...

You always were too high-minded and honourable. It's the difference between esprit de corps and esprit de corpse.